120PjSW

When The Surf Is Down, Complain

Sitting out in the cold having a beer with my mates the other Saturday, a select group of people were moaning about how cold it was (while mocking the figurines and ornaments that the pub had on display, a great way to pass the time as ever). It was a fair point, it was quite cold, but then again, I couldn’t help but be amused with how far we have come as a human race: there we all are in More

Way To Go

You may have noticed that I am a surfer: yeah, that’s right, I ride the waves (ok, sometimes they ride me – make that FLATTEN me – but still, I get my own back on them every so often and pull some sweet moves). So since I haven’t written a blog about why you should try surfing yet, I thought I should fill you in. Here, below, are my all time best reasons to go surfing, some of which you might not have thought about:

1) You can be ugly as sin and STILL pull hot chicks: seriously, stick a surf board under your arm and learn the basics and it can’t fail. Just make sure you learn a couple moves before you start trying your best lines on the girls who watch the surfers frequently, otherwise you’re going to look like a bit of a fool when they point out you can’t even stand on the board yet…

2) Surfing helps you to forget about everything: you forget where you are, you forget who you are, you forget where you are going and where you have been. All that matters when you’re surfing is tearing it up, and the constant attention that the waves demand is enough to zone out all other things. Have respect and you might not get eaten alive…

3) Talking about forgetting things, there are a number of other benefits associated with this: you forget about work and all the things that you really need to change about your life. Suddenly, out there, things like comet discount codes (if you work at comet and hate it) become meaningless. On the water there is nothing digital: no communication exists except for what’s between your feet and the board and the ocean.

4) Maybe most important of all, surfing helps keep you mentally and physically fit simultaneously: what could be better? Out there you’ll learn as much about managing and over-riding fear as you will problem solving, respect and how to deal with pain. Trust me, you will.

Reality Check

Remember Point Break? Come on, dig for it, you must: it’s the all-action high-octane thriller classic about a hungry young cop (Keanu Reeves) who joins a Police department to hunt down a gang of criminals who rob bank’s (headed by the great Patrick Swayze). A truly great film which has some slightly dubious acting in it, but still, it’s right up there as one of the best surfing films (and only surfing films…) alongside Blue Crush. But here is where I need to point out to the world how surfers differ in real life from the ones in the film.

1) We really ARE generally passive. Yes, we might look mean out there on our boards, riding them waves, but we don’t fist fight and we don’t rob banks. None of us have ever fired a gun either. Apart from our friend Danny who has a BB gun and once shot himself in the temple, if that counts…

2) We love surfing, but we don’t ALWAYS get up early to surf, not every day. We like to take a couple of days off per week, you know. We’re human just like all the non-surfers.!

3) We have proper jobs and we are forced to work like everyone else. And we don’t just call each other and say “hey dude surf’s up!” when a particularly wild wave shows up (no, we tend to text instead because that’s easier when the boss is about).

4) We have actual vocabularies like everyone else and all that stuff; we also buy other things other than surfing gear. I even own running clothing which was bought once instead of a new board I had my eye on. There you go, hopefully that clears a few things up about us lot.

My Old Mate

Want to know something weird? Well, you are here, so I am going to assume that you do. Even if you don’t then you may as well stick around, right? Seeing as I am about to begin a story and let’s be honest: you’re not going to find anything even half as remotely interesting over at the BBC News and Loose Women, seeing as that’s for girls and you might be a bloke, mightn’t you? No need to put your More